There are two kinds of mindsets that directly influence how successful you are: Empowering and Disempowering. People with empowering mindsets speak and act in ways that are congruent to achieving the life to which they are committed. Those with disempowering frames of reference often wryly comment that if they didn’t have bad luck, they’d have no luck at all.
Empowering Mindset People – look at situations not as they are but what they could become. When “bad” things happen to them, these empowering people shift into a solution-driven mode, whose first step is curiosity. Fascinated by the situation and committed to mastering the nuances of their roles and relationships they search for not only how they, themselves, created their less-than-ideal situation, but also what they can learn from every circumstance – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We encourage our clients to develop a personal mantra or phrase which represents their most powerful core value. This mantra should be preceded by recognizing reality – “Wow, this is tough and I’m hurting.” Such recognition minimizes the tendency to suppress any negative emotions that might inappropriately explode to the surface.
The mantra should be inspiring, motivating, and empowering – mobilizing them towards action: “I have two options – give up or get going – and I choose get going!” Lastly, their “power mantra” should contain a question that focuses on taking positive action: “What conditions do I want to exist and how do I need to think, feel, and behave to achieve them?” People with an empowered mindset tend to be more confident, resourceful, and resilient. Thus, more successful day-to-day.
Disempowering Mindset People – are often frustrated, emotional, and feel powerless. They may wish for greater success and happiness, but either they are unwilling (largely attitudinal) or unable (often lack of competency) to effectively change. Many disempowered people are bright, well-intended, and capable but find that their lives, careers, and relationships are less than satisfying. Invariably, these individuals don’t take full advantage of a situation’s potential to strengthen their coping mechanisms or adaptive behaviors. When presented with proven strategies and resources, often they engage in defeatist, “Yes, But” behavior. This passive and dismissive behavior is not results-driven. Thus, they choose, albeit at the unconscious level, a perpetuating cycle in which they might tell themselves, “You are stuck, miserable, and unworthy.” Tragically, if these people do not courageously recognize and address their dysfunctional mindset and all of its insidious nuances, they may never be able to pull out of their victim role – and they will constantly be upset. Accordingly, they may never create the life they want or need.
My Wish for You – Take full advantage of every opportunity that is presented to you to deepen your knowledge about yourself and others. Do your best, and forget the rest. Use your renewed knowledge and create the life you dream of:
- What do I really want my life and career to look like?
- What things accelerate / inhibit what I want to achieve?
- If I’m stuck, how do I benefit from being disempowered?
- If I knew that I could not fail, what would I attempt?
- Create a personal mantra that is inspiring, motivating, and empowering.
Socrates, once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Deepen your evaluation of your life’s purpose . . . and enjoy the ride!
This Post Has 2 Comments
I find that when confronted with a situation or set of circumstances that would align with a disempowered response, the solution is to pause and determine what approach would best support my longer term goal achievement. It is a matter of striving for a balanced perspective.
I have shared and posted this to a few places. We all have choices to make and if one’s mind is open then the choices end up being more qualitative and prompt a good learning lesson. I really enjoyed this blog installment from RL.